


I Want To Be Your Girl Again (even if it’s just for one more night)

by aesthetic_cl0wn, snOwtear (aesthetic_cl0wn)



Series: The Wish Café [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Aot veterans, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Levi is dead oops, Sad and Happy, Veterans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:53:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28352724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aesthetic_cl0wn/pseuds/aesthetic_cl0wn, https://archiveofourown.org/users/aesthetic_cl0wn/pseuds/snOwtear
Summary: The beginning of the ending where grief is ignored because of Leah.Hanji’s the one who lives, and Levi sacrifices himself for the sake of their little family.
Relationships: Levi/Hange Zoë
Series: The Wish Café [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2070444
Comments: 7
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my co-writer, who inspired this months ago. It’s been stuck in my brain since, so yeet hope u enjoy it :))

“Leah Ackerman-Zoe,  _don’t you dare touch that_! ”

The ten-year-old’s hand froze over a stack of precious paperwork, eliciting a groan of relief from her mother. Leah was a handful, but Hanji knew she should’ve expected it from day one. Hey, she was the daughter of a hyperactive scientist and an Ackerman, how else could this have turned out? Leah couldn’t be blamed, right?

Besides, her eyes were  _ really _ cute.

Giving herself a mental shake, Hanji grabbed the fountain pen from her little girl’s chubby fingers. “No, my little bird, you can’t draw on mama’s papers. But I’ll give you some plain paper, okay?”

Leah flashed her a cheeky grin, creating dimples in her squishy cheeks. “Okay mama!”

Little bird. Hanji had coined the pet name since Levi told her about how he met Isabel.

_ Levi _ . The very thought of his name sent heart into inhuman speeds. Even now, he had the same effect on her. Oh yes, she was still madly in love with him. Even though he had died more than a year ago already, his face in her mind could still let her feel his fingers against her skin. His scowl on her back as he viciously scrubbed her, quote unquote, “rats’ nest of hair”. She liked it when he said that. It made her laugh, especially after a long day, when she needed it most.

“Mama?”

The child’s angelic voice jolted Hanji back to reality. As a pair of innocent chocolate eyes blinked at her, Hanji pushed away any memories of her late husband for the time being. Since she had gotten to reunite with her daughter just six months ago, Hanji had made up her mind to neglect her own grief, instead making up for lost time with Leah. Hanji’s mother had done nothing more than stare at her, as if willing Hanji to start crumbling.

In truth, Hanji had not gotten over  _ his  _ death. Maybe she never would, but for now, it didn’t matter. Her priority was Leah, and that was that.

Hoisting the tiny girl from her chair, Hanji giggled. “Let’s go play with your blocks, little bird.”


	2. Chapter 2

_ She was home. Finally, after years of war, people could safely live in the walls. Hanji had barely registered the walk here. This house contained so many memories. A game of tag in the yard with her brother. Her mother’s cooking filling the air in the little house. The occasional flip of the pages of a newspaper in the morning, and her father’s slurping of his morning coffee. Back when Hanji’s life was a normal one. _

_ Hanji knew she could never go back to that life. But she had fought so Leah could live the right way. _

_ The commander sucked in air, as though it were courage. She prepared herself for the sight that would greet her: her little baby girl, all grown up without her. Leah might not even remember her. _

_ Still, she rapped her knuckles sharply on the wooden door, her stomach starting to ache with dread.  _

_ The door swung open, and the girl who stood before her stole all the words that had been swimming around her mind since an hour ago. _

_ The girl had a small face, but her eyes were wide, glinting in the sunlight. Sleek locks of raven hair that were once neat now danced wildly in the strong wind, obscuring a part of her face. Her tiny lips were bent downwards, a silent question that stabbed Hanji in the abdomen. _

_ Who are you? _

* * *

As her eyelids fluttered open, Hanji’s daydream faded from her mind. Reminiscing on the past was  not going to help her, Hanji decided. It was true, that memory plagued her at night and drove away all her drowsiness.   


That incident had really happened right before her very eyes, but it seemed Leah had let it slip from her young mind. Hanji, of course, could never forget it.

Dragging a hand across her forehead, Hanji sighed. Now she understood what Levi meant when he told her bad memories could make his insomnia worse than it already was.

Oh, Levi.

_Oh no, Levi_.

“The weight of the world sure is on your shoulders, hm, Commander?” A light hand rested on Hanji’s head. The pressure felt somewhat comforting.

“Yeah, yeah. So many of the kids are gone now. I mean, most of them don’t have families for me to answer to anymore, but...” Hanji bit her lip, leaning into her mother’s embrace. “It’s not easy. I never liked being a survivor. The kids...they should be here. They should be the ones who’re enjoying this peace. I mean, their whole lives have been full of nothing but war and violence and fighting, and so many things I wish I could’ve protected them from.”

Her mother’s dainty fingers placed a cup of tea on the table. Tea.  Him him him him-

“Survivor’s guilt, then. Plus some form of motherly attachment to those poor soldiers, hm?” Mrs Zoë mused, shifting her hand to twirl Hanji’s messy brown curls. Her soft fingers moved steadily, soon weaving the hair into a short braid. 

Hanji spun around in shock, ruining her mother’s handiwork. “ Motherly attachment? ” she wheezed, barking out an unladylike laugh. “That’s the craziest joke I’ve heard since Leah said she was a crayon!”

Mrs Zoë ran her palm down Hanji’s spine, silencing the not-so-young woman. “You heard me, dear. Those little soldiers were your pride and joy. And,” she continued, wagging her finger in front of Hanji’s face, “ don’t think I don’t know how badly you’re suffering right now. You can’t possibly tell me you had no friends in the Survey Corps?”

Moblit. Nanaba. Mike. Erwin.  Damn it. Of course she had friends. As abnormal as she was, being antisocial just wasn’t her.

But they were gone. And they weren’t coming back. Just like everyone else.

~~Just like Levi~~.

“What does it matter? You’re right, mom. I shouldn’t dwell on the past, right? Yup! Thanks for that. Goodnight!” Hanji pushed her mother out of the room, putting out the candle in the hallway. “Today’s been a  loooooong day. Why don’t you get some rest?”

“Darling, that’s not what I meant-“

“Good. Night.” An air of finality froze the tension between them. In the years since she joined the Corps, Hanji rarely had the chance to visit her family . Until Leah was born, of course. She and Levi had left Leah in her mother’s care, for as long as the war dragged on. Hanji’s brother had never approved of Levi, and thus during that one year where the Survey Corps was stuck inside the walls, waiting for all the Titans to be slaughtered, she and Ansel had fought like animals did over prey. (Meanwhile, said prey couldn’t take the arguing and left for Historia’s orphanage, rolling his silvery eyes throughout the journey there.)

Mrs Zoë knew this wouldn’t go anywhere, so she nodded her head. “Well, goodnight then.” She pinched the candle flame, darkness swirling into the rooms like smoke from a house.

And as her mother left, Hanji realised she didn’t want to be alone after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, there is incoming angst mwahahahahaa but I’ll go easy on Hanji cos she’s my favourite. Also I’M SO SORRY THIS IS SO SHORT, I’M RUSTY AT WRITING CHAPTER FICS


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